Scintillate

Christmas lights are the most enchanting thing. I could just get lost in their beauty. I don’t know why I love them so much. They go past my eyes straight into my soul warming it with a magical joy.

                I lay on a small bridge in the middle of a strip center gazing at the twinkly lights in the trees above me, “Santa Baby” plays in the background. There is a slight delay in the speakers throughout the mall that adds eeriness to my surrounding.

                I break focus from the lights and look past into the night sky. A plane flies by readying it’s self for landing. I think about all the people who might be on that plane, coming back from Thanksgiving break, coming back to the “real” world. Back to work Monday morning, act like nothing has changed. It’s depressing really.

                “Santa Baby” continues to play and the words overlap each other into a confusing mess of a song. It reminds me of how my mind has been lately. I have no idea what I’m doing with my life, what my purpose is. It feels like everyone around me knows what they are doing and who they are. I know that’s not reality. They are just as lost as I am. They are just better at hiding it.

                As I lay there thinking about Christmas lights and the purpose of life, I figure, does it really matter? Can’t I just take it one day at a time? Do I really need to figure all this out? I mean, do I even have a purpose anymore? Have I already fulfilled it and am just waiting life out?

                I think the reason I love Christmas lights so much is because their purpose may seem obvious, but they are so much more than meets the eye. You think they are only for decoration, but they are to give you hope. Something you look at to give you a moment of peace so you can just put your mind back together after it’s fallen apart. So, maybe like the lights, I do have a deeper purpose…I just can’t see it yet.